[EP17] What To Do When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned | Quddus

[EP17] What To Do When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned | Quddus

In this episode I was joined by Quddus (Q).  As a TV host, producer, media & podcast coach, Quddus has dedicated his life to understanding what it truly means to be our best self and live our purpose out loud.

We spoke about how we (as a society) are obsessed with the likes, comments and shares we received on social media…and how it distorts our view of our own self-worth. Quddus shared why we are all “influencers” in our own circles of influence and why he is committed to leading himself and others to step up and embrace their journey, even when life doesn’t go as planned. 

Episode Topics

(Click Links Below To Watch In Video)

3:20 | Quddus & Trevor discuss why podcasting is so special and authentic
7:51 | Quddus explains who he is and the journey he’s taken to find his calling
11:06 | Quddus challenges the concept of “right path vs wrong path” in life
14:11 | Why you shouldn’t try to be the middle point of Oprah & Ryan Seacrest
15:33 | Trevor explains how a guy in a gratitude bus motivated him to start this show
18:00 | Quddus talks about how we often look for external permission to move forward
19:20 | Quddus reflects on his “identity” as a celebrity and how he evolved over a decade
21:38 | Quddus speaks about the moment that “experiential transformation” changed his life
25:30 | Why we’re seeing a shift in talking about “mental health” and what it means to be a man
27:48 | How you can make a difference in the world by focusing on your circle of influence
29:56 | Why focusing on destination without enjoying the journey will leave you feeling empty
33:22 | Quddus spoke about why he created his TedX talk – “Do we need media rehab?”
37:43 | Who is the ONE person/mentor that has been most influential in your life (all time)
39:36 | Who is the ONE person/mentor that is the most influential in your life (right now)
40:44 | What is the ONE philanthropic cause that means the most to you and why?
43:47 | What is the ONE thing you are most grateful for in your life right now?
44:44 | What is the ONE thing that you are most curious about right now and wanting to explore more in your life?
46:17 | What is the ONE thing that scares you right now that you know you must meet with bravery?
48:07 | Where can people find out more about you and connect with you online?

Episode Quotes

“All roads can lead to Rome. Our experience of life doesn’t have a lot to do with the destination. It’s less about the journey or the destination…it’s more about the company that you’re with along the way” – Quddus

“Having girls scream my name and put their fingers through my hair was great for my ego, but was it fulfilling? No.  It’s like eating a bag of candy. It’s really sweet for a second and then you feel like shit” – Quddus

“When we think about what authenticity is, it’s not being the middle point of Ryan Seacrest and Oprah, it’s being Quddus” – Quddus

“What we all do so much of in this world is we look at each other’s social media and we start to measure ourselves, compare ourselves and be like other people because they’re successful and we think we need to pretzel into who they are in order to be successful too” – Quddus

“It was almost a permission for me to go all in on this show. Cause I spent a good 6 months planning, second guessing and facing impostor syndrome. It was another piece of the puzzle where I gave myself permission to move forward” – Trevor Turnbull

“I think about Maya Angelou.  She went from being a dancer to a poet, which is a totally different skillset. We all have so many dimensions to us.  And it is important for us to give ourselves permission to explore them” – Quddus

“Education, information, inspiration, entertainment…these are all different buckets.  And, to come to find transformational work was a revelation for me. Do I want to continue feeling miserable, no.  Do I want to explore possibility that this thing might help me, yes” – Quddus 

“I saw our mutual buddy Chris Hawker have a moment in the training where I thought — what just happened there…something just unlocked for that person. That was powerful!  And then almost immediately after I thought to myself — why am I not having that experience.  What’s wrong with me?” – Trevor Turnbull

“Now when I get on camera, I’m very clear about who my authentic self is and what my intention is. Before the trainings, I was a hologram.  I was a projection of who I thought I should be for the world” – Quddus

“Often times we think about our circle of concern (in the world) which is huge. When we bring it down to the circle of influence that we have and can actually make a difference with, then it becomes a less overwhelming conversation” – Quddus

“What do we do in this creator economy, in this influencer world if we don’t necessarily feel like an influencer? If you’re a single mom and literally the only person that pays attention to you is your child, you can be an influence on that person!” – Quddus

“I think about my actor friends and how much time they spend auditioning, preparing, being on set, filming, being in Timbuktu for 2 years, waiting for post production and then the movie comes out and they are on the Oscar stage…and the band plays them off in 30 seconds” – Quddus

“I think it’s a slippery slope when we look at click-bait as a viable way of going about creating media. When we start to prioritize click-bait over our character. And views over our values” – Quddus

“I started the Kings Council for black men after what happened to Ahmaud Arbury. And then after George Floyd I doubled down because I realized if we are in America and we feel like we don’t belong based on some of these things we are all now witnessing, we get to have some solidarity around it and some real support so that we always feel like, at least we belong in this men’s group” – Quddus

“There is a lot of stigma in the black community around sharing feelings, especially with black men.  With all of the hip-hop we’ve listened to over the years – and I love hip-hop – but come on, it’s about the most misogynistic, macho thing on the planet. And, it’s created a bunch of walls between us in sharing what’s real for us” – Quddus

Episode Resources Mentioned

What happened to MTV VJ Quddus (Vice article)
Do we need media rehab? (Tedx Talk)
King’s Council (Quddus’s Men’s Group for Black Men)

Guest Contact Info

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